I took taekwondo several years ago, and the instructor said something that changed my view forever. He told us to get into our strong position. So naturally I stood up straight and tall “like a man”, and to my surprise, the instructor pushed my chest with two fingers, causing me to stumble backwards. Then he instructed us to get into our fighting stance, with one foot in front of the other, leaning forward. Once in that stance, he pushed my shoulder harder than before, but this time my body didn’t budge. I was shocked because, my whole life I was told to “stand like a man”, without realizing that was my weakest position. And the more I thought about it, I realized that same “strong position” was the same position I get into when I lean to my grandchildren, and say, “come here buddy”.
Think about this. Have you ever stood in front of a child standing from a high place, and told them to jump into your arms? A child knows intuitively not to jump until you get into your strong position. We have been taught in society that our strong position is to stand up straight, but if you will notice, a child won’t jump until you lean to them.
I have even seen cases in the news where a mother stuck in a burning building will trust a stranger to catch her baby when that stranger is leaning and reaching as hard as they can with both hands.
It’s the same way in life, Leaning is your strongest position, and people intuitively trust people in their strong position.
I was at the Barber Shop, and the barber was telling a story about a visit to the OBGYN with his wife. His wife was pregnant with their first baby, and was due anytime. My barber explained that their regular doctor couldn’t be there, so they had to see a new doctor that they hadn’t met before. Then the barber said, “Let me tell you what, that was the nicest doctor! I would trust my life with that man!”. Let’s keep in mind that this was somebody that he had just met, and knew nothing about. I then posed a question to him, that I was confident I knew what the answer would be. “Did the doctor lean to you?” At that, his face lit up and he said, “yes, he did!” Then, I went on to explain, “we trust those people who lean to us, whether it’s a doctor, teacher, parent, friend, etc”. And he said, “wow, you know, you are right! I never thought about that!”. Since he was about to be a new dad I wanted him to see how important Leaning is. That’s where trust and love come from.
In an interview with famous actor, William Shatner, in regards to his experience with Koko the gorilla, he said that the European way of acting is that the action comes first, and the emotions follow. So, he said he reached his arms out and said, “Koko, I love you”, and Koko hugged him back. He went on to say, “the body won’t let you lie”.
To put it another way, Leonardo da Vinci, according to author Walter Isaacson, understood that the actions of the body represent the emotions of the mind.
Therefore, If we want to create those wonderful emotions that we call love and trust, we must do the action first.
It’s important to understand that Leaning affects us the same way. We learn to trust and love ourselves when we stay in our strong position, making us more confident to jump into life.
So Leaners, stay in your strong position, with both arms reaching out. Because, only Leaners produce Leaners.
These articles are co-written by James and Elisha, based on the books and work created and founded by James.
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